Three and the Potty

Oh what a great birthday we had! We did about the same thing as last year, Jump Zone then Shane's Rib Shack. We invited mainly our family ( Noni, Pops, Mammy, Pappy, Elbie, Bryson, HaHa and family, Gee, Marni, Duck, C, J, Ba, and our special guest Lissa!)
We jumped and climbed till we were worn out then headed across the street for some great grub! Although Shane's is a rib shack I adore their chicken fingers! YUmmY!
The next morning we went "Cold Turkey" potty training- straight in to underwear! I might be crazy but everyone told me this was the fastest way. So the first 5 days were really difficult on both of us and kinda gross. But by the 6th day he had really gotten the hang of it. He is now in underwear all day and sleeps in a pull-up and I am great with that arrangement for now. Overall it wasn't that bad although, it is still very time consuming. I probably sit next to him on his potty 2+ hours every day. He likes the company. Hahaha. It has been really hard to deal with always being late because it takes him 20 minutes to "go". But I am trying to roll with the punches and remember that this is just part of this age.

P.S. I'm not a good blogger.

I don't really know what I'm doing and I just started this so bare with me :-)

"Follow your dreams"

Six weeks ago I had a weird dream. You know one of those dreams that you remember all the details and yet none of them make much sense. I don't usually dream a lot, nor do I usually remember the dreams I have very well. But this was a "realistic" dream, almost as if it was or could actually happen. I generally subscribe to the theory that dreams are an extension of your sub-conscious and that sometimes the strange things you dream can be tied to other experiences or thoughts. I must say this dream throws that theory out the window. Here is the dream:

I ( although I never actually saw may face, I did dream this as first person) was in my early 30's and living in a refurbished ranch style home. The front room to the house was a big combination formal living/dining space, long and thin with wood floors. At the end of the room was a big table and I was sitting at the table sewing. There were racks of little girls dresses all around the room and there were two little boys playing. They were running through the house and tickling each other. One of them was clearly Cale, but he was probably 5 years old and the other was about 2. The younger of the two had curly blonde hair. Throughout the dream I sewed and they played. We would get in the car and travel to these warehouse type building full of bins of fabric. I would dig through the fabric and pick out the pieces I liked. I would take them home and sew the dresses out of them. Every dress was made from different fabric and I am fairly sure the fabric was all remnants. At the end of the dream, I had a big "party" and all these ladies came over and bought my dresses.

Ok first of I don't live in that kind of house, nor do i have two boys. But the real strange thing is "why would I be sewing dresses if I don't have a little girl?" and even weirder I don't know how to sew! I have never wanted to sew anything in my life! My mother, grandmother and even great grandmother were/are AMAZING seamstresses! They have sewed for me my whole life. I have never needed to sew anything so i've never had the desire. I certainly haven't thought about sewing anything lately, so why would I dream this?

WHo KNOWs?....... Not me - but as Beth Moore says "God knows, God always knows."

The morning after the dream (Jacob was still home) I woke up and told Jacob about the strange, realistic dream. He though it was weird too. He even said "You don't know how to sew." haha I know!! I told my mom a few days later, knowing she would appreciate a sewing dream. She told me "I think you need to make one of those dresses from the dream." I reminded her that I don't know how to sew and that I have no use for a little girls dress. Well, for the next week she kept asking me "when are you going to make one of those dresses?" I was thoroughly put out! I don't know how to sew and I don't need any dresses!!

After a week of this, I decided that if she wanted to make a dress she could. So I bought her the fabric and brought it home. That was 16 days ago. I now have 12 little girls dresses hanging in my house. And yes, I made them all my myself. It is certainly not easy or cheap but with some guidance from my mom and some urging from my close friends I figured out that somehow I do know how to sew. And actually I'm really good at it! Imagine my surprise!

I'm in the process of developing a logo, with the help of an amazing friend who is World Class graphic designer, Jose Canales. My dear sister is setting up a website and my mother is helping me iron out the kinks in the design and figure out pricing. Several of my friends have allowed me to use their children as dress models and given me their priceless advice (Laura, Sarah, Sheryl, Amy, Tina, Jess).

So, If I seemed a little withdrawn over the past few weeks, thats why. God is stirring up some unbelievable things in my life. I don't know where this path is going to lead but I know that God has clearly open this door (and maybe even pushed me through it).

Stay tuned for more info........and if you are willing, say a prayer that God's will be done in this new venture.

The big blizzard of 2010

Friday came with lots of snow and some ice this week. It was beautiful and always seems to quiet the world, even if only for a few moments. We spent friday at home watching the snow fall and doing laundry. That night I made my first homemade organic pizza, which was really very good if I do say so myself. Then watched The Soloist, which was a bit of a disappointment compared to the book and also a bit depressing. We watched the news and anticipated that the inches would just keep coming through the night. We awoke Saturday to 6+ inches on the ground. It was truly majestic, almost like we were transported over night to a winter vacation. Nashville usually gets snow a couple times a year but more than 2 inches is very rare, so we planned to take full advantage of it! Carrie and Dad suited up and headed out to test the driveway and hill, while I made beignets or as Cale called them "Sno-nuts", I think because they are covered in powdered sugar and look a lot like snow. After breakfast we all bundled up and headed out to sled. I don't have any snow pants for Cale so he wore an old pair of Carrie's, that will explain why they are purple...ssshhh don't tell Jacob! We decided that an oversized metal pan was the perfect thing for some speed, it took several tries but we finally managed to master the slippery art of downhill. Cale was not 100% sure about the whole thing but he was a good sport and at least tried it. I'm not sure I blame him though, sliding down a hill on a glorified cookie sheet is a bit nuts :-)

The void

I thought I would share with y'all our current situation. Jacob is now stationed at Fort McClellan in Alabama. He is there as part of his final training as a Commissioning Officer in the U.S. Army. The training that he is participating in is called Accelerated OCS. Tennessee originally had 400+ candidates for this training, they then narrowed it to 42, and only 5 of them made it to Fort McClellan, Jacob is one of the five. The training is an intense, abbreviated version of the Federal program that is usually used. We will have no contact with him while he is gone, with the exception of possibly a phone call as a reward for outstanding performance. Most mornings he will be out of bed by 4am and not go back to bed till 11:30. The program is intended to create "false stress", which is basically a combination of sleep depravation, lots of physical training, and overload in new information. The point of this training to see how the candidates adapt to decision making and leadership in a very stressful situation. An Officer in the Army will be in command of anywhere from 100's - 1,000's of troops depending on their rank. It is critical that they be able to handle the demands of the position. This training also has very high failure rate. Jacob and I have prayed constantly for the last year about this step in the training process. We know that he is capable of all that is required .

It has been a little over a week since Jacob left. The first day or so was really lonely, but we have been trying to stay busy because in my experience it is easier to adjust when you keep a momentum. I wish I could say that there was one thing that is hardest for me, but right now it all seems hard. I have to change my schedule to do all the chores that he usually does, like trash and feeding the dogs, and taking care of the cars. I am constantly fielding Cale's questions about "where is daddy? and "go get daddy!" and I find myself lost in personal though that I would usually share with him. I would do just about anything to hear his voice right now, to know that he is ok. To hear about how he is coping with all the demands and to be able to tell him that I am praying for him constantly (although he already knows that!).

My four legged child...

Last Monday, Jacob and I noticed that our Black lab, Balan (Bay-lynn), had a strange place on her hindquarters. It was kinda like a bite or maybe a rash, and it obviously was irritating her because she was gnawing at it. Jacob held her down while I searched her thick coat and we found two other places that felt like wounds. They had very think scabs on them like they were old, but we had never seen them before, so that was really perplexing. We cleaned them with alcohol and decided to watch and see for a day or so if they were getting worse. Well on Tuesday the place on her hindquarters had been gnawed so much that she had a hairless patch about the size of an orange. Since Jacob was leaving, I promised him that I would take her to the vet soon. I made an appointment and took her in Thursday ( of course the only time they had available was smack in the middle of nap time). After about 10 mi of the discussing the possibilities, I remembered that Balan had been to the farm the week before and had come back covered in mud and manure (lovely!). The vet said he needed to shave her and and get a scrape of the wounds and look at in under a microscope...about ten minutes later he brought her back looking like this. After discussion with the senior vet they decided that she has Blastomyosis. Blastomyosis is a parasite that lives in the soil in Tennessee, and it can apparently enter the blood stream through a cut in the skin. It is somewhat rare and they only see about one case a year. It is much harder to spot in large animals and animals with lots of fur. The progression of the disease is unique, it starts with weeping wounds on the skin, then progresses to weeping wounds in the lungs, and then on to the eyes. If its not caught before it gets to the eyes the chances of survival are pretty slim. After a chest x-ray they determined that her lungs were not yet effected and that a aggressive antibiotic and antifungal would probably do the job. So I now have to feed her 10 pills twice a day hidden in cheese. She's been a real trooper, no whining or crying just those sad "I don't feel good" eyes. Just one more adventure to keep me from getting bored...hahaha

Not for the faint of heart

Yesterday evening we loaded up the car and headed to the base. Although I have been walking around with a lump in my throat for days anticipating this goodbye, I managed to keep myself together most of the day. We have a goodbye tradition of eating at Martin's BBQ because it's our favorite. So last night we headed out to Nolensville to get some ribs. Unfortunately when we got to Martins.....it wasn't there!! (Apparently it is moving to a new location and hasn't opened yet) Why do people have to mess with a good thing????! So, we decided to go back towards Nashville and find somewhere else. We saw a Jets pizza sign and thought it was about time that we tried "everyone's" favorite pizza. We pulled up and it was a delivery only location! No seating! Of course, by now Cale is pretty much starving and so we decided to roll with the punches. We ordered a pizza and ate it in the car. Not quite the goodbye dinner I had planned, but we all got fed and spent a little extra time together and thats what really matters.

Afterwards we drove out to the base and located the right baracks. Jacob unloaded his stuff and let Cale "help" him carrie it all inside. (each bag ways 75+ pounds, so you can imagine that was a sight!) Cale noticed that there was an "awplane" (airplane) behind the barracks. HE got so excited! He kept asking Jacob if he worked on an airplane and wanted to go see it. ( apparently they use it for training or something) So, if he tells you that his dad works on an airplane, thats why. He also thought the potty's were "pretty." hahahaha

We said our goodbyes and left. As we were driving off Cale said "mommy are you crying?", and ofcourse those sweet words just made me cry harder.. "Mommy why are you crying?".... I tried to explain that I was ok and that I just missed daddy. "Mommy, don't cry, be...(pause).... nice."...well that did it.. I started laughing.. as he struggled to find the correct word..."no...mommy be happy, be happy mommy."... I told him i was ok and that I was just crying a little. "Mommy, I know what you need, you need Pooh and blankie".....and that did it again! I started sobbing because it was just so sweet and tender and he handed me his pooh and blankie to wipe my tears. For the rest of the way home he would just say "its gonna be ok mommy". Although I wasn't exactly a mess when I pulled away, hearing my sweet baby try to comfort me was both a blessing and a trigger. I wanted him to know I was ok, but I also know that I can't shield him from sadness. When I put him in bed he said "mommy I love you, don't cry anymore", I was glad it was dark in his room. These moments are the times that I know I wouldn't survive this world without God.

"The Lord is close to the broken hearted; he rescues those whose spirit are crushed." Psalm 34:18