The void

I thought I would share with y'all our current situation. Jacob is now stationed at Fort McClellan in Alabama. He is there as part of his final training as a Commissioning Officer in the U.S. Army. The training that he is participating in is called Accelerated OCS. Tennessee originally had 400+ candidates for this training, they then narrowed it to 42, and only 5 of them made it to Fort McClellan, Jacob is one of the five. The training is an intense, abbreviated version of the Federal program that is usually used. We will have no contact with him while he is gone, with the exception of possibly a phone call as a reward for outstanding performance. Most mornings he will be out of bed by 4am and not go back to bed till 11:30. The program is intended to create "false stress", which is basically a combination of sleep depravation, lots of physical training, and overload in new information. The point of this training to see how the candidates adapt to decision making and leadership in a very stressful situation. An Officer in the Army will be in command of anywhere from 100's - 1,000's of troops depending on their rank. It is critical that they be able to handle the demands of the position. This training also has very high failure rate. Jacob and I have prayed constantly for the last year about this step in the training process. We know that he is capable of all that is required .

It has been a little over a week since Jacob left. The first day or so was really lonely, but we have been trying to stay busy because in my experience it is easier to adjust when you keep a momentum. I wish I could say that there was one thing that is hardest for me, but right now it all seems hard. I have to change my schedule to do all the chores that he usually does, like trash and feeding the dogs, and taking care of the cars. I am constantly fielding Cale's questions about "where is daddy? and "go get daddy!" and I find myself lost in personal though that I would usually share with him. I would do just about anything to hear his voice right now, to know that he is ok. To hear about how he is coping with all the demands and to be able to tell him that I am praying for him constantly (although he already knows that!).